Megan’s midlife detox: ‘I want to look great in my wedding frock!’

As featured in Women's Day, 9 August 2024

Megan Alatini hesitates to use the words “midlife crisis”. However, there’s no denying that being in her late forties is proving to be challenging. At 48, she’s found herself in the throes of perimenopause, with weight gain, hot flushes, migraines and mood swings all part of her experience so far.

Plus, the way the TrueBliss singer and reality TV star feels about herself and her body has been shifting dramatically along with her hormones.

“I cry at the drop of a hat,” admits Megan. “I’ve always been that person who brings the energy to the room – optimistic and positive. But in the past couple of years, I’ve noticed I don’t feel like that better version of myself any more. I know for a fact I’ve felt a loss of confidence during the gain.”

The physical changes have been particularly hard to take. Megan, who’s 157cm tall, was aware her size eight clothes weren’t quite fitting the way they used to. She’d been feeling bloated and uncomfortable in outfits she used to rock. Still, it came as a shock to stand on the scales and realise she’d gained 17kg.

Her diet hadn’t really changed, but when she thought about it, Megan could pinpoint lots of other things that had. There was the end of her 32-year relationship with former All Black Pita Alatini which, even though amicable, left her “yo-yoing up and down in both body and mind”. There were the COVID lockdowns when Megan went from being physically on the go all day to spending long working hours sitting at a desk.

“I also drank more during that time than I ever have in my life,” she admits. “I’m embarrassed to remember how sometimes I’d struggle to wait till 5pm to pour a glass of wine and would jokingly remark, ‘It’s happy hour somewhere in the world.’ But day drinking – that’s not me at all… unless I’m on holiday, of course!”

The weight gain’s left Megan feeling uncomfortable, clumsy, unfit and sore.

“Normal activities are more of a chore,” she admits. “It’s harder to walk down the driveway to put out the bins. I’m making all sorts of really weird noises just bending down to tie up my shoe laces during the one time I did actually go out to the gym.”

With a wedding on the horizon, now’s the time to start making some positive changes. Megan and her fiancé Natalie McDade plan to get married later next year, once Nat has finished her deployment as a peacekeeper in Papua New Guinea. By then, Megan aims to be in far better shape.

“I reached over 77kg, which is heavier than I was even during my pregnancies,” she says. “But I’m not fixating on numbers. It’s how it looks and feels for me. I want the bloatedness, inflammation and soreness to not be so elevated. To be at ease with myself, strong and healthy is the goal. I want to get rid of this frown on my face and find my way back to positive, optimistic Megan again. And, of course, I want to look great in a beautiful wedding frock!”

The detox has already begun. Megan’s working with a personal trainer, overhauling her nutrition and paying attention to calories for the first time. Plus, she’s learning as much as she can about the menopause transition and the best way to navigate it.

She isn’t going to be tackling all of this on her own, but is planning on bringing lots of other wa¯hine along with her for the ride.

“If I’m feeling this way, then what about all my girlfriends out there who might not have the same sort of support I do? How are they coping? I want to reach out and get a posse of women talking about this stuff more openly.”

Megan’s busy planning a podcast and talk show. She hasn’t settled on a definite name yet, but at the moment is calling it Shit Our Mothers Should Have Told Us. As it follows women’s midlife journeys and shares input from experts, it will be no-holds-barred, taboo-smashing stuff. Megan’s not interested in anything other than total authenticity.

“We’re gonna be real and raw. We want men to be part of the conversation as well so they can understand us better!” explains Megan.

One topic she really wants to tackle is what happens to the menstrual cycle as the hormonal balance changes. Her own periods have become both unpredictable and dramatic.

“My most embarrassing moment happened when I was getting my makeup done in Mecca Cosmetica in Ponsonby,” she confides. “My stomach felt funny, so I stood up and it was like whoosh, all over the pale floor. I was mortified. I didn’t have a tampon or pad, or any spare clothes. My only option was to wash my outfit in the staff bathroom and clean up with paper towels. I know this sounds like too much information, but if I’ve gone through this, then other people have too. It’s not yucky or dirty – we shouldn’t be ashamed.”

In her job as a corporate coach and mentor, Megan’s making sure women’s health is a part of the conversation and she’s also going to be an ambassador for the inaugural Women’s Health Week NZ by Tend, which starts 12 August.

There’s a lot for Megan to be excited about. They are mapping out their wedding plans. She and Natalie were hoping for a big destination wedding, but realised that as a same-sex couple, it isn’t legally possible for them to marry in certain countries.

“We’re going to have a formal ceremony here in New Zealand, and then a destination celebration with as many of our friends and family as possible,” says Megan.

Natalie has five children, while Megan has three. Her eldest, Tonica, is expecting a baby of her own, so their wedding is set to be epic. Megan’s looking forward to heading into her next decade alongside her new wife.

“I want our fifties to be full of great people and adventure,” she says.

“I want to be in a better state and space, at peace with myself, and having a lot of fun along the way!”

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